trying to get the hang of photography again. now that its been a while, its harder to think of ideas for my photos. this was kind of a happy accident. boy is this journey long. and its only the beginning. i'm excited to see what more God has in store for me with this project.
12.27.2010
12.26.2010
Conversations
We went to celebrate Christmas dinner with good friends of ours last night and it was a bittersweet experience. It was very likely our last Christmas dinner with them and our tradition of meeting together every year will be done. So it was hard. I learned some cool stuff last night though. Had a pretty interesting conversation about the native peoples up north and what the village life was like. There was something the guy we were talking to said that really struck me hard. It struck that chord inside of me that sings every time I think about Japan. It made my desire to be a missionary over there so much bigger.
It also made me impatient.
I have to say I'm a bit sad thinking about how long it might take for my journey over there to really begin. Of course, it already has, I'm learning the language, picking up on multiple histories and other things related, but there has yet to start that real process of going there. I don't know how it will happen, or what exactly its going to look like. I just know I want to be ready for it even if I'm not right now.
This Christmas was a good one. Like I mentioned in a previous post, it was the first one in a long time I was able to get truly excited about.
But I have to say I'm struggling with something that is really hard to get over. And I know the answer here, in my mind, but it is like my heart refuses to acknowledge it. It makes it difficult, you know.
I'm sure there are some cool lessons coming and when they make their way to my heart I'll be writing about them.
--MovingGirl
It also made me impatient.
I have to say I'm a bit sad thinking about how long it might take for my journey over there to really begin. Of course, it already has, I'm learning the language, picking up on multiple histories and other things related, but there has yet to start that real process of going there. I don't know how it will happen, or what exactly its going to look like. I just know I want to be ready for it even if I'm not right now.
This Christmas was a good one. Like I mentioned in a previous post, it was the first one in a long time I was able to get truly excited about.
But I have to say I'm struggling with something that is really hard to get over. And I know the answer here, in my mind, but it is like my heart refuses to acknowledge it. It makes it difficult, you know.
I'm sure there are some cool lessons coming and when they make their way to my heart I'll be writing about them.
--MovingGirl
12.25.2010
Breath of Heaven
This year has, by far, been the strangest for me. just reflecting back on this year, i've seen a lot of bumps in my road, a lot of pain i've gone through. and i've seen a lot of progress in myself through that pain.
when christmas approached this year, i think i was the only one not jumping up and down for joy a month in advance, drowning my brain in christmas music, and counting down the days. suddenly the songs about snow and mistletoe and presents and travel and bells... it all seemed so silly. for the first time in my life, i didn't want to listen to christmas music unless it was about the true reason for Christmas.
this year, a new favorite for me in terms of christmas songs was "breath of heaven". if you don't know it, here's some lyrics (i'll post a link a bit later so you can listen too):
"I have traveled many moonless nights,
Cold and weary with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I’ve done.
Holy father you have come,
And chosen me now to carry your son.
I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now.
Be with me now.
Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Do you wonder as you watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place,
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.
Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven."
These lyrics just really got me. i mean, can you imagine? can you just imagine being in her place? let me paint a picture for you...
you're young. maybe 19. you're in a very religious family. you're engaged to this man. you're a little bit frightened at the prospects of marriage. you don't know joseph that well. but you know he is a good man. and you think you could grow to love him - given time. all is going well. one day, you're out for a stroll in the garden, thinking about your future wedding. suddenly all of that leaves your mind. you feel something... a presence. and then you see it. something so glorious, its almost blinding. and though you've never seen one yourself, you know from stories you've heard that its an angel. but you can't be sure if you're truly seeing it, or if you're dreaming, or if you've gone mad. but for some reason it doesn't matter. you know in your heart this being has something gravely important to tell you. then it speaks. in a voice so strong that you tremble, yet so melodious that you want him to go on speaking. you force yourself to listen to his words, to understand. He is a messenger from God. this in itself sends you reeling, but he has more to say. you must hear his message. then this terribly beautiful being tells you that you are to have a son. that he will be conceived now, so that the sin of man will not be in him. you will carry the very son of God. you will be the mother of the Messiah, the one prophesied about! but it can't be true. your family is of lowly stature, and you are a meek girl. you know you are not fit for such as this. but you also know you must. something in you knows, this is God's plan. you don't know why, but he chose you. so you say to the messenger, the angel, "let it be done".
lets jump ahead a bit. suddenly, the gravity of it all hits you. and there is a strange yearning, almost an excitement. you run to your family to tell them the great news. you never imagined the looks of disgust that would appear on their faces. they... they don't believe you. they urge you to tell Joseph. he must know. and if he will still have you, you must marry as soon as possible... of course it would be horrible to get the town talking, the rumors going. you find a time to talk with him alone, and you tell him of your visit from the angel. you can see by his face that he really wants to believe you. but he has doubts. you part ways unsure of what will become of you, and you start to feel a great deal of fear. your heart thuds at any thought of any of it.
when joseph tells you that an angel appeared to him as well, that you must get married right away, you know you want to get to know this man. so you get married. mostly it is good, but sometimes you can see a look of jealousy on joseph's face. it doesn't last long. he is a good man. then you must travel to bethlehem. you are very pregnant by this time... your child is due to come any day. but you take the long trek anyway. you feel more fear than you have ever felt in your entire life. and you feel alone. of course there is no way for your husband to quite know what you're going through. it has been a long hard road for you and you have often doubted yourself, doubted God made the right choice. and these same doubts came flooding back on your journey. but you pushed forward.
you arrive in bethlehem much later than you had hoped to arrive. all of the inns are over capacity. there is no room for you anywhere. not even to sleep on the floor. you finally come to an inn that will let you stay in the stable. so, you waddle into the stable, and as joseph prepares beds of hay for you, you suddenly feel something new in your body. and you know your child is being born. after many excruciating hours, its over. the baby is placed into your arms, and you know that you are looking into the face of the messiah, you are holding glory. holiness radiates from this child's face. and he doesn't fuss. he only looks up at you with love. you've never loved anyone or anything as much as you love this small boy in your arms. and you never want to let him go.
-----------------------
such has been my journey this christmas season. as much as i try to imagine holding the savior of the world in my arms, looking into the face of the Holy One, i cannot. it surpasses understanding.
i didn't get to do a whole month of truths like i had planned. i'm a little bit bummed by that. but i refuse to let this pass by. this is the ultimate truth. the truth that some 2000 years ago, a baby boy was born. and this boy was the perfect and ultimate sacrifice to pay for our sins. the redeeming gift that allows us to spend eternity with our creator in heaven. isn't that a beautiful thing? the truth is that you never have to be alone, you don't have to be scared. you can have peace that surpasses understanding. because of the baby boy who's birthday we so often forget to celebrate instead of the corporate holiday of presents and trees. think about it.
when christmas approached this year, i think i was the only one not jumping up and down for joy a month in advance, drowning my brain in christmas music, and counting down the days. suddenly the songs about snow and mistletoe and presents and travel and bells... it all seemed so silly. for the first time in my life, i didn't want to listen to christmas music unless it was about the true reason for Christmas.
this year, a new favorite for me in terms of christmas songs was "breath of heaven". if you don't know it, here's some lyrics (i'll post a link a bit later so you can listen too):
"I have traveled many moonless nights,
Cold and weary with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I’ve done.
Holy father you have come,
And chosen me now to carry your son.
I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now.
Be with me now.
Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Do you wonder as you watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place,
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.
Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven."
These lyrics just really got me. i mean, can you imagine? can you just imagine being in her place? let me paint a picture for you...
you're young. maybe 19. you're in a very religious family. you're engaged to this man. you're a little bit frightened at the prospects of marriage. you don't know joseph that well. but you know he is a good man. and you think you could grow to love him - given time. all is going well. one day, you're out for a stroll in the garden, thinking about your future wedding. suddenly all of that leaves your mind. you feel something... a presence. and then you see it. something so glorious, its almost blinding. and though you've never seen one yourself, you know from stories you've heard that its an angel. but you can't be sure if you're truly seeing it, or if you're dreaming, or if you've gone mad. but for some reason it doesn't matter. you know in your heart this being has something gravely important to tell you. then it speaks. in a voice so strong that you tremble, yet so melodious that you want him to go on speaking. you force yourself to listen to his words, to understand. He is a messenger from God. this in itself sends you reeling, but he has more to say. you must hear his message. then this terribly beautiful being tells you that you are to have a son. that he will be conceived now, so that the sin of man will not be in him. you will carry the very son of God. you will be the mother of the Messiah, the one prophesied about! but it can't be true. your family is of lowly stature, and you are a meek girl. you know you are not fit for such as this. but you also know you must. something in you knows, this is God's plan. you don't know why, but he chose you. so you say to the messenger, the angel, "let it be done".
lets jump ahead a bit. suddenly, the gravity of it all hits you. and there is a strange yearning, almost an excitement. you run to your family to tell them the great news. you never imagined the looks of disgust that would appear on their faces. they... they don't believe you. they urge you to tell Joseph. he must know. and if he will still have you, you must marry as soon as possible... of course it would be horrible to get the town talking, the rumors going. you find a time to talk with him alone, and you tell him of your visit from the angel. you can see by his face that he really wants to believe you. but he has doubts. you part ways unsure of what will become of you, and you start to feel a great deal of fear. your heart thuds at any thought of any of it.
when joseph tells you that an angel appeared to him as well, that you must get married right away, you know you want to get to know this man. so you get married. mostly it is good, but sometimes you can see a look of jealousy on joseph's face. it doesn't last long. he is a good man. then you must travel to bethlehem. you are very pregnant by this time... your child is due to come any day. but you take the long trek anyway. you feel more fear than you have ever felt in your entire life. and you feel alone. of course there is no way for your husband to quite know what you're going through. it has been a long hard road for you and you have often doubted yourself, doubted God made the right choice. and these same doubts came flooding back on your journey. but you pushed forward.
you arrive in bethlehem much later than you had hoped to arrive. all of the inns are over capacity. there is no room for you anywhere. not even to sleep on the floor. you finally come to an inn that will let you stay in the stable. so, you waddle into the stable, and as joseph prepares beds of hay for you, you suddenly feel something new in your body. and you know your child is being born. after many excruciating hours, its over. the baby is placed into your arms, and you know that you are looking into the face of the messiah, you are holding glory. holiness radiates from this child's face. and he doesn't fuss. he only looks up at you with love. you've never loved anyone or anything as much as you love this small boy in your arms. and you never want to let him go.
-----------------------
such has been my journey this christmas season. as much as i try to imagine holding the savior of the world in my arms, looking into the face of the Holy One, i cannot. it surpasses understanding.
i didn't get to do a whole month of truths like i had planned. i'm a little bit bummed by that. but i refuse to let this pass by. this is the ultimate truth. the truth that some 2000 years ago, a baby boy was born. and this boy was the perfect and ultimate sacrifice to pay for our sins. the redeeming gift that allows us to spend eternity with our creator in heaven. isn't that a beautiful thing? the truth is that you never have to be alone, you don't have to be scared. you can have peace that surpasses understanding. because of the baby boy who's birthday we so often forget to celebrate instead of the corporate holiday of presents and trees. think about it.
12.23.2010
Oh the blessings of life
Two and a half years ago, I entered into the adventure of a lifetime. It has been the most incredible experience.
Michael and I met at crash (before it was known as crash). Over three years ago. We started talking and quickly became best friends. After a while I worked up the courage to tell him I liked him. At that point, he wasn't sure if he felt that way about me. He gently asked if we could just be friends. He didn't want to stop being friends. He also didn't want to hurt me. He was so sweet about it. So we stayed friends. But a few months later he told me he liked me too. We waited to date though. He had other stuff going on in his life, and he wasn't ready for that kind of relationship. Another few months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. And I happily said yes. We've had a lot of struggles along the way. Speed-bumps and detours. There's been a lot of pain. But there's also been a lot of joy. And the joy makes the pain so worth it. Not to mention the growth we experience coming out of the pain, the dark times, the valleys. I wouldn't change anything about our story.
When I was a little girl, I used to dream of being swept off my feet and carried off into the sunset by a handsome prince charming. But nothing I ever dreamed up in those silly little girl dreams could ever come close to the love story that I am living. I couldn't dream of a more handsome prince charming, both inside and out, and I couldn't be swept off my feet more - or better - than I am now.
Something that I've been learning about myself, especially recently, is that there is nothing more attractive to me than a man seeking after God. Every time Michael talks about what God has been showing him or doing through him, or how much he wants God's will, or reminds me to be praying God's will, I see I love this man more and more each and every day. I'm excited to see what God has planned for us next.
One of the greatest things is that through it all, we have always been best friends. We may fight or disagree. I may annoy him like nothing else and he may get on my last nerve. But those times are so worth it. And we can work through the disagreements and the hard times.
Something I came to realize just today -- I know, I should have realized it sooner -- is this:
well, sometimes he surprises with flowers or a small gift. He loves getting me things and spoiling me, if he can. And that is all very well and wonderful and sweet. But I wouldn't mind not having that. Because this man showers me with LOVE. He constantly looks for ways to express his love. He listens to me and he's working very hard to learn my love language. Through it all, I know I'm loved without a doubt, because he always finds a way to show me.
I am in awe of how incredibly blessed I am to not only have him, but his family as well. Today has been a wonderful day full of blessings.
~Daughter of the Most High
Michael and I met at crash (before it was known as crash). Over three years ago. We started talking and quickly became best friends. After a while I worked up the courage to tell him I liked him. At that point, he wasn't sure if he felt that way about me. He gently asked if we could just be friends. He didn't want to stop being friends. He also didn't want to hurt me. He was so sweet about it. So we stayed friends. But a few months later he told me he liked me too. We waited to date though. He had other stuff going on in his life, and he wasn't ready for that kind of relationship. Another few months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. And I happily said yes. We've had a lot of struggles along the way. Speed-bumps and detours. There's been a lot of pain. But there's also been a lot of joy. And the joy makes the pain so worth it. Not to mention the growth we experience coming out of the pain, the dark times, the valleys. I wouldn't change anything about our story.
When I was a little girl, I used to dream of being swept off my feet and carried off into the sunset by a handsome prince charming. But nothing I ever dreamed up in those silly little girl dreams could ever come close to the love story that I am living. I couldn't dream of a more handsome prince charming, both inside and out, and I couldn't be swept off my feet more - or better - than I am now.
Something that I've been learning about myself, especially recently, is that there is nothing more attractive to me than a man seeking after God. Every time Michael talks about what God has been showing him or doing through him, or how much he wants God's will, or reminds me to be praying God's will, I see I love this man more and more each and every day. I'm excited to see what God has planned for us next.
One of the greatest things is that through it all, we have always been best friends. We may fight or disagree. I may annoy him like nothing else and he may get on my last nerve. But those times are so worth it. And we can work through the disagreements and the hard times.
Something I came to realize just today -- I know, I should have realized it sooner -- is this:
well, sometimes he surprises with flowers or a small gift. He loves getting me things and spoiling me, if he can. And that is all very well and wonderful and sweet. But I wouldn't mind not having that. Because this man showers me with LOVE. He constantly looks for ways to express his love. He listens to me and he's working very hard to learn my love language. Through it all, I know I'm loved without a doubt, because he always finds a way to show me.
I am in awe of how incredibly blessed I am to not only have him, but his family as well. Today has been a wonderful day full of blessings.
~Daughter of the Most High
12.22.2010
Three Days
I feel like I have a final approaching. That nervousness that comes upon you somehow feels a lot like the excitement too. Ick. Anyway, I think this is one of the first Christmases I've had in a while that I'm actually excited about. I remember when I turned eleven and suddenly the excitement (at least for the presents part) had faded. I was so disappointed. Anyway, it's like that excitement has come back, but differently. I'm excited about the presents I'm giving. Oooo....it's going to be so cool!
I also think that this Christmas is different for me. I've never been in this sort of relationship with God before. I believe it makes a big difference. Instead of just appreciating Christmas, you find joy in it. The regular songs, Christmas service, dressing up, food, friends....everything becomes more exciting. Like you can enjoy the joy of a little kid again.
:)
It's good stuff.
--MovingGirl
I also think that this Christmas is different for me. I've never been in this sort of relationship with God before. I believe it makes a big difference. Instead of just appreciating Christmas, you find joy in it. The regular songs, Christmas service, dressing up, food, friends....everything becomes more exciting. Like you can enjoy the joy of a little kid again.
:)
It's good stuff.
--MovingGirl
12.21.2010
Christmas reading
http://www.bethlehemstar.net/
For those of you interested in the Bethlehem Star, I suggest taking a look at this website. For the past few Christmases I've enjoyed this and think you should too. The video is great too!
Merry Christmas!
--MovingGirl
For those of you interested in the Bethlehem Star, I suggest taking a look at this website. For the past few Christmases I've enjoyed this and think you should too. The video is great too!
Merry Christmas!
--MovingGirl
12.20.2010
It's beginning to look a lot like...
...a very long winter. Snow is here to stay. It's a beautiful little wonderland out there right now, full of fluffy snow falling so slowly. A lazy day, yes?
Last night was chilling. I had an intense encounter with a big God. I was so overwhelmed. Overwhelmed. Can't stand up, can't sleep, headache-giving Awesomeness. I've never experienced that before.
I fell asleep in his arms. It was beautiful. Like the gloriously bright snow outside.
I just want to remain like this. So in awe of Him. I encourage everyone today and the next few days to take a step back. Take an hour out of your day. Let yourself be awed by him. He will visit with you if you ask.
Do it.
It's beautiful.
--MovingGirl
Last night was chilling. I had an intense encounter with a big God. I was so overwhelmed. Overwhelmed. Can't stand up, can't sleep, headache-giving Awesomeness. I've never experienced that before.
I fell asleep in his arms. It was beautiful. Like the gloriously bright snow outside.
I just want to remain like this. So in awe of Him. I encourage everyone today and the next few days to take a step back. Take an hour out of your day. Let yourself be awed by him. He will visit with you if you ask.
Do it.
It's beautiful.
--MovingGirl
12.17.2010
Familial Ties
Mark 2:5 says this: 'When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."'
This is the same verse I used for the previously posted song, but one thing that I realized just the other night was that there was a certain order to things. Jesus says something here that could be a simple translational effect, but for me I believe means something deeper.
Whenever you talk about what we believe as Christians, you here the phrases 'sanctification' and 'justification'. (If I mess up horribly in the next paragraph, forgive me, it's most likely mot that my theology is screwed, but that my words are.) So which comes first, the sanctification or justification? As a protestant Christian, I've grown up being taught that justification comes first. I believe it. That's the whole message of the gospels. God sent his Son to die for you because you just can't make it on your own. Basically, we all fail the sanctification process. We just cannot be good enough for a perfect God. So instead he gives us the gift of his Son so that we may be justified in him. That is when the process of sanctification takes place, but it is a God-driven process, not man-driven. (We are impossibly bad at driving.)
So now that the theology lesson is over, take a look at this: Jesus says "Son, your sins are forgiven." The italics are my own emphasis, but take a look at it. Think about it. Meditate on it. Jesus didn't always call the people he spoke to in a familial way, oftentimes he said "friend." So why this. Is it simply a term of endearment, a common address of the times, or a translational quirk? I think everything is said and done for a reason.
Jesus called him son before he said your sins are forgiven. He claimed him as his own before anything else. Child, your sins are forgiven. Child, your sins are forgiven.
I serve an uncommon God who knows exactly how to meet the common needs.
How cool is that?
--MovingGirl
This is the same verse I used for the previously posted song, but one thing that I realized just the other night was that there was a certain order to things. Jesus says something here that could be a simple translational effect, but for me I believe means something deeper.
Whenever you talk about what we believe as Christians, you here the phrases 'sanctification' and 'justification'. (If I mess up horribly in the next paragraph, forgive me, it's most likely mot that my theology is screwed, but that my words are.) So which comes first, the sanctification or justification? As a protestant Christian, I've grown up being taught that justification comes first. I believe it. That's the whole message of the gospels. God sent his Son to die for you because you just can't make it on your own. Basically, we all fail the sanctification process. We just cannot be good enough for a perfect God. So instead he gives us the gift of his Son so that we may be justified in him. That is when the process of sanctification takes place, but it is a God-driven process, not man-driven. (We are impossibly bad at driving.)
So now that the theology lesson is over, take a look at this: Jesus says "Son, your sins are forgiven." The italics are my own emphasis, but take a look at it. Think about it. Meditate on it. Jesus didn't always call the people he spoke to in a familial way, oftentimes he said "friend." So why this. Is it simply a term of endearment, a common address of the times, or a translational quirk? I think everything is said and done for a reason.
Jesus called him son before he said your sins are forgiven. He claimed him as his own before anything else. Child, your sins are forgiven. Child, your sins are forgiven.
I serve an uncommon God who knows exactly how to meet the common needs.
How cool is that?
--MovingGirl
Sisters
Are the coolest thing ever! Not only biological, but spiritual sisters. It's pretty awesome how God made this relationship with him a possibility at awesome relationships with others, too.
So my point in all this is that this blog changed directions. Instead of being my personal blog (I still have one, it's remains at movinggirldiary.blogspot) we (my best friends and I) are going to post on this and let it be a collaboration of awesome moments in our life, pictures, poetry, and the more-than-occasional random post. So no one--except me--has any obligation to post, but I hope (ahem) that this will be something that can bring us all closer. Both to each other and to God.
This is now the diary of the JourneyGirls.
--MovingGirl
So my point in all this is that this blog changed directions. Instead of being my personal blog (I still have one, it's remains at movinggirldiary.blogspot) we (my best friends and I) are going to post on this and let it be a collaboration of awesome moments in our life, pictures, poetry, and the more-than-occasional random post. So no one--except me--has any obligation to post, but I hope (ahem) that this will be something that can bring us all closer. Both to each other and to God.
This is now the diary of the JourneyGirls.
--MovingGirl
12.14.2010
Tearing Down the Commons--Song
Tearing Down the Commons
Mark 2:1-12
When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."
We're fighting a war unseen in the world
We fight from the stage of heaven's will
We're fighting for a kingdom ready to come
We fight for a Savior who's already won
The Man once said, 'son, your sins are forgiven.'
And when questions rose, He asked 'what are you thinking?
For which of the following is easier to do?
Forgive a man's sins, or heal him through?'
And to prove His point, He said to the son,
'I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home'----
We're tearing down the commons
We're proving that the Son of Man
Has all authority in heaven
And earth to forgive our sins
We're tearing down the commons
Fighting for what makes no sense
And we're raising up an army
Who can think like this!
We're fighting a war unseen in the world
We fight from the stage of heaven's will
We're fighting for a kingdom ready to come
We fight for a God who's already won
The Man once said, 'son, your sins are forgiven.'
And that one phrase defeats Satan's horde
For the Son of Man came down from heaven
And on a tree on a hill, the world's sin was borne!----
We're tearing down the commons
Fighting for the lost
We're doing what the world
Considers too much cost
'Cause we're tearing down the commons
Fighting a war unseen
'Cause we're living for a God
Who can love the unclean!
We're tearing down the commons
Living like radicals
We're tearing down the commons
Like the Berlin Wall
We're tearing down the commons
To get a message through
The King of Kings reigns
And he died for you!!!
The Man once said, 'son, your sins are forgiven.'
--MovingGirl
-Note: The above is read best as a song, which is what it was written as, but as I can't sing worth anything, and the only one who loves to hear me is the Father himself, so you all just have to read it as is. The music makes it powerful, though. I plan to write it for the piano.
Mark 2:1-12
When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."
We're fighting a war unseen in the world
We fight from the stage of heaven's will
We're fighting for a kingdom ready to come
We fight for a Savior who's already won
The Man once said, 'son, your sins are forgiven.'
And when questions rose, He asked 'what are you thinking?
For which of the following is easier to do?
Forgive a man's sins, or heal him through?'
And to prove His point, He said to the son,
'I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home'----
We're tearing down the commons
We're proving that the Son of Man
Has all authority in heaven
And earth to forgive our sins
We're tearing down the commons
Fighting for what makes no sense
And we're raising up an army
Who can think like this!
We're fighting a war unseen in the world
We fight from the stage of heaven's will
We're fighting for a kingdom ready to come
We fight for a God who's already won
The Man once said, 'son, your sins are forgiven.'
And that one phrase defeats Satan's horde
For the Son of Man came down from heaven
And on a tree on a hill, the world's sin was borne!----
We're tearing down the commons
Fighting for the lost
We're doing what the world
Considers too much cost
'Cause we're tearing down the commons
Fighting a war unseen
'Cause we're living for a God
Who can love the unclean!
We're tearing down the commons
Living like radicals
We're tearing down the commons
Like the Berlin Wall
We're tearing down the commons
To get a message through
The King of Kings reigns
And he died for you!!!
The Man once said, 'son, your sins are forgiven.'
--MovingGirl
-Note: The above is read best as a song, which is what it was written as, but as I can't sing worth anything, and the only one who loves to hear me is the Father himself, so you all just have to read it as is. The music makes it powerful, though. I plan to write it for the piano.
Tearing Down the Commons
Is a title for a song/poem I am working on based off of Mark 2:1-12.
Jesus never settled for the common, instead he did what was uncommon. Rather than simply heal the man physically, he did something much greater, much more difficult, and much more meaningful. He forgave the man his sins. Jesus got to the heart of the matter. He went straight for the best...and when questions rose in those around him, he tore down the commons by doing the uncommon. Jesus. That's just who he is.
--MovingGirl
Jesus never settled for the common, instead he did what was uncommon. Rather than simply heal the man physically, he did something much greater, much more difficult, and much more meaningful. He forgave the man his sins. Jesus got to the heart of the matter. He went straight for the best...and when questions rose in those around him, he tore down the commons by doing the uncommon. Jesus. That's just who he is.
--MovingGirl
12.13.2010
Blessings
A little intro: I've been living with my mom (I'm 19 and a half, and I should be in my own). Recently my mom informed me that I would have to move out in march, find a new place to live, because she was going to move in with her boyfriend.
I've always been a pushover. I find it very difficult to speak up for myself, to declare my own thoughts. My mom has often expressed frustration at this tried to get me to open up.
God has been working in me, chipping away the ugly stuff, only to get to a layer of pain and heartache. Pain and heartache that I buried in the hopes I would forget. All throughout my childhood, I had abandonment fears. Always worried a parent or someone else close to me would decide I'm not worth their trouble and just leave. This came from my dad shirking responsibilities and breaking promises countless times until I thought it was normal.
I've had to find against these fears so hard to build relationships. I've often felt that old familiar "friend" sneak up behind me and tell me Michael might leave. But I know this can't be true.
I've fought and worked against this. And finally I did it. I told my mom how I really felt. And she replied by informing me my new deadline to move was January 16th.
Pain. Fear. Stress. Anger. Bitterness. All of it flooded over me until I felt I was drowning. But still I managed, amidst this flood, to reach up and hand this to God. He has been slowly answering my prayer, and as of today I know where I'm moving. I don't know when. But I know that God does. And that he's taking care of me. We so often forget just how much God knows about taking care of his creation. And yesterday I was reminded that he is the best father anyone could have.
-- Daughter of the Most High
I've always been a pushover. I find it very difficult to speak up for myself, to declare my own thoughts. My mom has often expressed frustration at this tried to get me to open up.
God has been working in me, chipping away the ugly stuff, only to get to a layer of pain and heartache. Pain and heartache that I buried in the hopes I would forget. All throughout my childhood, I had abandonment fears. Always worried a parent or someone else close to me would decide I'm not worth their trouble and just leave. This came from my dad shirking responsibilities and breaking promises countless times until I thought it was normal.
I've had to find against these fears so hard to build relationships. I've often felt that old familiar "friend" sneak up behind me and tell me Michael might leave. But I know this can't be true.
I've fought and worked against this. And finally I did it. I told my mom how I really felt. And she replied by informing me my new deadline to move was January 16th.
Pain. Fear. Stress. Anger. Bitterness. All of it flooded over me until I felt I was drowning. But still I managed, amidst this flood, to reach up and hand this to God. He has been slowly answering my prayer, and as of today I know where I'm moving. I don't know when. But I know that God does. And that he's taking care of me. We so often forget just how much God knows about taking care of his creation. And yesterday I was reminded that he is the best father anyone could have.
-- Daughter of the Most High
12.11.2010
Obedience
How much more can we as Christians know once we begin to explore the truths of obedience? The ACT of faith. The follow-through, endurance? Not just believing, but doing. We seem to talk about it a lot, mostly in regards to feeding the hungry, helping a neighbor. But what about personal obedience? The spiritual act of worship that comes from us acting upon our faith and belief in God?
(Please understand that I believe you have to be careful that you don't make these actions 'rules' that must be followed. That's not freedom. For more info, check out Galations.)
I'm on a journey these next 21 days till the end of the year, that I will share more about once it's over, but what I'm hoping to learn on this journey is the act of obedience. I want to learn how to endure, how to overcome, how to obey.
So I don't know what these next three weeks are going to look like, but I'll be here or I won't. I want to increase my hunger for God.
I pray that anyone who reads this has an enormously blessed Christmas in which God's presence is abundently present!
--MovingGirl
(Please understand that I believe you have to be careful that you don't make these actions 'rules' that must be followed. That's not freedom. For more info, check out Galations.)
I'm on a journey these next 21 days till the end of the year, that I will share more about once it's over, but what I'm hoping to learn on this journey is the act of obedience. I want to learn how to endure, how to overcome, how to obey.
So I don't know what these next three weeks are going to look like, but I'll be here or I won't. I want to increase my hunger for God.
I pray that anyone who reads this has an enormously blessed Christmas in which God's presence is abundently present!
--MovingGirl
12.10.2010
You Wrote on My Wall
--A Call to Righteousness
Daniel 5:5
Suddenly the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the plaster of the wall, near the lampstand in the royal palace. The king watched the hand as it wrote.
I laughed and danced and sang at will
I brought the golden goblets in
I watched as others had their fill
I never bothered to look within
I spilled my wine and ate the food
I sinned with eyes that feasted
I let the priests do all the good
I continued with what pleased me
I spoke with words that were empty
I chose the gods of silver and gold
I praised those that gave me plenty
I befriended those that fit the mold
I humbled the poor and burdened low
I prided myself in my mighty power
I never thought that what I sowed
I'd reap in heaps till I cowered
But then you wrote on my wall
You cautioned me with words
You wrote a warning, a solemn call
You wrote this and I heard:
Mene, mene, tekel, parsin
Your kingdom is at an end
The gods you worshipped
Are broken and done
You have been weighed
And found wanting
So now your kingdom
Will be divided
I am through with you
For you took the goblets
Made of gold
And drunk from them
You fool!
I woke up from my sordid dream
I was startled from my sleep
I had a nightmare it would seem
I was sentenced to the deep
I hesitated as I stood
I swallowed nervously
I couldn't remember as I should
The outcome of the dream
You had written on my wall
You had cautioned me with words
You had sentenced me to fall
You had written and I had stirred
I whirled around to my wall
I looked at it's pale, white surface
And written in red was a call
And it declared my purpose
"These things happened as examples...
and were written down as warnings for you...
So from goblets dedicated to my temple
You should not drink that sinful brew
But rather drink of my living water
Priceless and holy to flow within
For I have made you my holy daughter
I have bought you from your sin"
I laughed and danced and sang at will
I brought the golden goblets in
And in your holy presence, still
I was filled with love from within
You wrote those words upon my wall
You brought me and took me in
You wrote a warning, and with the coal
You touched my lips
Amen.
--MovingGirl
Created 12-10-10
Daniel 5:5
Suddenly the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the plaster of the wall, near the lampstand in the royal palace. The king watched the hand as it wrote.
I laughed and danced and sang at will
I brought the golden goblets in
I watched as others had their fill
I never bothered to look within
I spilled my wine and ate the food
I sinned with eyes that feasted
I let the priests do all the good
I continued with what pleased me
I spoke with words that were empty
I chose the gods of silver and gold
I praised those that gave me plenty
I befriended those that fit the mold
I humbled the poor and burdened low
I prided myself in my mighty power
I never thought that what I sowed
I'd reap in heaps till I cowered
But then you wrote on my wall
You cautioned me with words
You wrote a warning, a solemn call
You wrote this and I heard:
Mene, mene, tekel, parsin
Your kingdom is at an end
The gods you worshipped
Are broken and done
You have been weighed
And found wanting
So now your kingdom
Will be divided
I am through with you
For you took the goblets
Made of gold
And drunk from them
You fool!
I woke up from my sordid dream
I was startled from my sleep
I had a nightmare it would seem
I was sentenced to the deep
I hesitated as I stood
I swallowed nervously
I couldn't remember as I should
The outcome of the dream
You had written on my wall
You had cautioned me with words
You had sentenced me to fall
You had written and I had stirred
I whirled around to my wall
I looked at it's pale, white surface
And written in red was a call
And it declared my purpose
"These things happened as examples...
and were written down as warnings for you...
So from goblets dedicated to my temple
You should not drink that sinful brew
But rather drink of my living water
Priceless and holy to flow within
For I have made you my holy daughter
I have bought you from your sin"
I laughed and danced and sang at will
I brought the golden goblets in
And in your holy presence, still
I was filled with love from within
You wrote those words upon my wall
You brought me and took me in
You wrote a warning, and with the coal
You touched my lips
Amen.
--MovingGirl
Created 12-10-10
Gulls and Crows
So one thing I actually like about Alaska is that no matter what street you are on you will see a bird of some sort, either crows/ravens or seagulls and the occasional pigeon. What will we see in TN/KY? I don't know. I'm guessing not too many seagulls...Could be wrong. So will there be crows or ravens? I love those birds. They fed Elijah, they save lives, and to me, they are pretty cool. Scavengers often gross people out and most people don't like crows because they are "dirty" or even because they are often used as a symbol of darkness. But in reality, God made them and put them here on the earth. He's used them to provide for his people, and they eat the leftovers, how cool is that? They are beautiful birds, incredibly smart, and I think I'm going to miss them. It's just one of those small things you notice.
Now I understand that most people don't like them, and farmers find them nuisances, but I think God finds them a glorious creation full of infinite wonder. Just like Carver's peanut.
I hope I can continue to find appreciation in all of his creation, even the spiders and mosquitoes and other annoyances. They each serve their purpose.
P.S. I'm not going 'green'. That is a style change. I'm going 'grateful'. That is a heart change.
--MovingGirl
Now I understand that most people don't like them, and farmers find them nuisances, but I think God finds them a glorious creation full of infinite wonder. Just like Carver's peanut.
I hope I can continue to find appreciation in all of his creation, even the spiders and mosquitoes and other annoyances. They each serve their purpose.
P.S. I'm not going 'green'. That is a style change. I'm going 'grateful'. That is a heart change.
--MovingGirl
12.09.2010
Silver, Sliver, Shiver, Night
So I want to dance but my moon is missing and it's 0 degrees outside right now. That and my back porch is covered in snow. I can't stand it when you get those weird urges to just go and twirl and dance to the sound of your breath, heartbeat, and the crunch of snow. Night is beautiful and I love to go and view it, whether from my front porch, my roof, a friends house, the medical center benches down the street...it's all intense and out of this world.
The moon tonight is just a sliver, but the sky earlier was so clear that the moon appeared sharp and bright. It felt like something that didn't belong to this mundane world.
It made me want to dance.
I can't wait till we are in TN/KY and have land of our own...till we have big trees and an open field to go picnic in, watch the stars in, dance in, worship in, have campfires and play airsoft in. I'm excited for the stars and the thunder storms and lightening and night that comes at the same time throughout the year. Till friends and family are only a drive away and the world's music capital is right outside our door. I'm excited for the chance to decorate our new house, to bargain shop for awesome furniture, and to pick out my room. I can't wait till I can learn to play the harp, or guitar, or relearn the piano. I'm excited for the slower life and know no matter how bored I get digging in the garden or playing in our orchard that I'll never desire the city life for too long. I'm excited about having my own apple, pear, and plum trees. Growing my own vegetables, and being able to go for walks on my own property. I'm excited for the warm weather at night and for the opportunity to meet new people. I want to get a gun and be able to practice in my backyard legally, and learn how to throw a knife. I want to spend weekends working on trucks and learning about how the diesel engine works. I am excited to sit on my front porch with my family, watching the sun set and getting eaten by bugs. I can't wait till we are there and can slow down, eat together at the dinner table again, and have time to just hang out. Most of all I'm excited that I get to grow closer to God on this journey and can't wait for all that he has in store for me and my family. It's an exciting time.
--MovingGirl
The moon tonight is just a sliver, but the sky earlier was so clear that the moon appeared sharp and bright. It felt like something that didn't belong to this mundane world.
It made me want to dance.
I can't wait till we are in TN/KY and have land of our own...till we have big trees and an open field to go picnic in, watch the stars in, dance in, worship in, have campfires and play airsoft in. I'm excited for the stars and the thunder storms and lightening and night that comes at the same time throughout the year. Till friends and family are only a drive away and the world's music capital is right outside our door. I'm excited for the chance to decorate our new house, to bargain shop for awesome furniture, and to pick out my room. I can't wait till I can learn to play the harp, or guitar, or relearn the piano. I'm excited for the slower life and know no matter how bored I get digging in the garden or playing in our orchard that I'll never desire the city life for too long. I'm excited about having my own apple, pear, and plum trees. Growing my own vegetables, and being able to go for walks on my own property. I'm excited for the warm weather at night and for the opportunity to meet new people. I want to get a gun and be able to practice in my backyard legally, and learn how to throw a knife. I want to spend weekends working on trucks and learning about how the diesel engine works. I am excited to sit on my front porch with my family, watching the sun set and getting eaten by bugs. I can't wait till we are there and can slow down, eat together at the dinner table again, and have time to just hang out. Most of all I'm excited that I get to grow closer to God on this journey and can't wait for all that he has in store for me and my family. It's an exciting time.
--MovingGirl
12.08.2010
Reflections
It's weird how sometimes a very normal and obvious thing will strike you as absolutely odd or amazing.
I was just eating a yummy chocolate chip cookie and drinking a small glass of milk, and looked out the kitchen window at the cold, dark, snowy world beyond. Then my gaze went to my reflection and I was shocked. I looked older. Like a young woman, not a child. And I remembered looking at my reflection years ago when I was much less mature-looking and it struck me as odd. It made me wonder if five years from now when I'm in another place, and 24 years old, if perhaps the same feeling of oddness will come again.
It's an odd thing, growing up.
--MovingGirl
I was just eating a yummy chocolate chip cookie and drinking a small glass of milk, and looked out the kitchen window at the cold, dark, snowy world beyond. Then my gaze went to my reflection and I was shocked. I looked older. Like a young woman, not a child. And I remembered looking at my reflection years ago when I was much less mature-looking and it struck me as odd. It made me wonder if five years from now when I'm in another place, and 24 years old, if perhaps the same feeling of oddness will come again.
It's an odd thing, growing up.
--MovingGirl
Vulnerable
It's very surprising when you realize how vulnerable you are to yourself and the yuck of the world.
You do something that compromises what you believe in and then it's like, now what? Did I really do that? How do I return to the joy of God's presence?
But God is amazingly forgiving (He sent his only SON to die for our sins so we could be forgiven!) and when we screw up in a major way, he is loving and patient, and although there are always consequences and pain and lessons to be learned, he doesn't stop loving you. And his rebukes are designed to build you up, not tear you down. Don't listen to the voice that says you are a failure and can't ever get back...that's not God talking. God would have you know that he says in his word that if anyone believes in his son, he shall have eternal life. That's referring to our life here on earth now. LIFE. You can't live if your dying in your own shame and unforgiveness. So reach out, touch the face of the one who is standing there offering his love, mercy, and grace, and ACCEPT the gift he is giving. After all, that is what Christmas is all about.
Don't let shame and terror and self-punishment keep you from living eternally right now.
God loves you!
--MovingGirl
You do something that compromises what you believe in and then it's like, now what? Did I really do that? How do I return to the joy of God's presence?
But God is amazingly forgiving (He sent his only SON to die for our sins so we could be forgiven!) and when we screw up in a major way, he is loving and patient, and although there are always consequences and pain and lessons to be learned, he doesn't stop loving you. And his rebukes are designed to build you up, not tear you down. Don't listen to the voice that says you are a failure and can't ever get back...that's not God talking. God would have you know that he says in his word that if anyone believes in his son, he shall have eternal life. That's referring to our life here on earth now. LIFE. You can't live if your dying in your own shame and unforgiveness. So reach out, touch the face of the one who is standing there offering his love, mercy, and grace, and ACCEPT the gift he is giving. After all, that is what Christmas is all about.
Don't let shame and terror and self-punishment keep you from living eternally right now.
God loves you!
--MovingGirl
Waking Up With Company
Waking Up With Company
--A Call to Repentance...
Forgive yourself and take that hand offered to you
You woke up this morning with regret
It really is hard to get back
After a fall
But then you know that staying where you are
Is not any better
And for some reason
You can't anyway
So how to get back?
What steps do you take
When you can't even see the path
You feel too blinded to see
Too seared to care
And hungry...we won't even start
It's hard to get back
After a fall
Life seems to go on
Without you, with you
Over you
Everywhere seems dangerous
Everyone seems like an arrow
Aimed at the back of your head
So cautious you reach out
Ready to pull back
But even there
You can't find your way
Nothing is as it seems anymore
So you sit there waiting
And waiting for someone
To come along and tell you
It's hard to get back
After a fall
But he'll help you along the way
He'll pull off that blindfold
Teach your eyes to see the light again
And hold onto you when you let go
So you wait for this person
Not realizing you're waiting
Hungry, blind, lost and alone
Your conscious is seared
You heart is hard
And the life that you once knew
Is gone
It's hard to get back
After a fall
But then there's a light
And the blindfold comes off
And you look up but cringe at brightness
He tells you his name
He holds out his hand
He lifts you up
And you cry
So long, so long
Has the wait for him been
But now he is here
And he's holding on to you
He leans down and whispers
The air tickles your ear
"It's hard to get back
After a fall
But I'm here for you now"
And you get up out of bed
Open the blinds
Blink at the light
Smile at the world
And take the hand of your Savior
Because it's only hard to get back
After a fall
If you are doing it
All alone.
--MovingGirl
--A Call to Repentance...
Forgive yourself and take that hand offered to you
You woke up this morning with regret
It really is hard to get back
After a fall
But then you know that staying where you are
Is not any better
And for some reason
You can't anyway
So how to get back?
What steps do you take
When you can't even see the path
You feel too blinded to see
Too seared to care
And hungry...we won't even start
It's hard to get back
After a fall
Life seems to go on
Without you, with you
Over you
Everywhere seems dangerous
Everyone seems like an arrow
Aimed at the back of your head
So cautious you reach out
Ready to pull back
But even there
You can't find your way
Nothing is as it seems anymore
So you sit there waiting
And waiting for someone
To come along and tell you
It's hard to get back
After a fall
But he'll help you along the way
He'll pull off that blindfold
Teach your eyes to see the light again
And hold onto you when you let go
So you wait for this person
Not realizing you're waiting
Hungry, blind, lost and alone
Your conscious is seared
You heart is hard
And the life that you once knew
Is gone
It's hard to get back
After a fall
But then there's a light
And the blindfold comes off
And you look up but cringe at brightness
He tells you his name
He holds out his hand
He lifts you up
And you cry
So long, so long
Has the wait for him been
But now he is here
And he's holding on to you
He leans down and whispers
The air tickles your ear
"It's hard to get back
After a fall
But I'm here for you now"
And you get up out of bed
Open the blinds
Blink at the light
Smile at the world
And take the hand of your Savior
Because it's only hard to get back
After a fall
If you are doing it
All alone.
--MovingGirl
12.07.2010
Kissing the floor in front of You.
Kissing the floor in front of You.
-A Call to Humility
Bowing my head against the silence
Trembling at the thought of your wrath
I've failed because of my blindness
Even though you showed me the path
The truth came down like a bolt of heat
It seared me straight to my soul
My heart stopped, a pause in the beat
It burned within me as a hot coal
My face is wet with tears of grief
They pool on the floor like blood
My height and pride were so brief
They tumbled away with the flood
So here I am now broken and lost
Confused and shamed before you
And trembling at the horrendous cost
I bring my crushed self before you
Lord, forgive my selfish ambitions
My heart rose too high in its pride
Oh the cost of my worthless position
Naked, I've fallen so hard
The agony of truth tears at my breast
I cringe and cry out in pain
As you pull the roots from my chest
Pride and Self are their names
How tenderly you apply the balm
The Rose of Sharon within
And weeping, you give me a song
That washes away my sin
So here I am now broken and lost
But touched not by your wrath
For tenderly, lovingly, you paid the cost
And once more may I walk on your path
Bowing my head in heartache and shame
You lower yourself to my height
And lifting my face you quietly say
That I am precious in your sight
Bowing my head against the flood
Of joy that your words do bring
I welcome the gift of your sinless blood
And kiss the floor at your feet.
--MovingGirl
Inhaling Snowflakes
It's not as fun as it sounds. Walking through a blizzard of white makes it really hard to breath. It's like breathing underwater or something. Weird. But also amazingly cool and unique, one of those moments that makes you say, wow, why the heck am I leaving this for humidity and temperatures over 100 degrees?
Then you remember that this winter you are living in is going to last another four or five months and it all makes sense.
What to throw away, and what to keep. Do you pack it in a box and never see it again until you are actually settling into the new home, do you put it in your "carry out" for the camper and the road trip? Do you even take it and if not where do you deposit it? Trash, Salvation Army, Ebay, Craigslist, Neighbors, friends?
Moving really makes you consider what is important to you and how important it is. With friends at the top of the list, if you give it away to them, then it is really important. If you give it to SA then not so much. So where on the scale does it lie? And then you feel bad giving away that amazing 'whatever' that was supposed to be treasured or something. It is like one huge guilt trip. Yeesh.
Naw, I'm making it sound worse than it is. By the end of the day you are throwing things at the trash bag saying "I don't care if I never even remember you I just want to be done! Out of my house!!!"
--Moving Girl
Then you remember that this winter you are living in is going to last another four or five months and it all makes sense.
What to throw away, and what to keep. Do you pack it in a box and never see it again until you are actually settling into the new home, do you put it in your "carry out" for the camper and the road trip? Do you even take it and if not where do you deposit it? Trash, Salvation Army, Ebay, Craigslist, Neighbors, friends?
Moving really makes you consider what is important to you and how important it is. With friends at the top of the list, if you give it away to them, then it is really important. If you give it to SA then not so much. So where on the scale does it lie? And then you feel bad giving away that amazing 'whatever' that was supposed to be treasured or something. It is like one huge guilt trip. Yeesh.
Naw, I'm making it sound worse than it is. By the end of the day you are throwing things at the trash bag saying "I don't care if I never even remember you I just want to be done! Out of my house!!!"
--Moving Girl
12.03.2010
An Early Praise
Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on his hands,
My name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because a sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the One,
Risen Son of God!
Behold him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I am,
The King of glory and of grace!
One with himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God
-It's not about religion, rules, or even morality. It's about a relationship. And he loves you. And it's free. You can't do a thing. Freedom. Love. Jesus.
Merry Christmas.
--Moving Girl
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on his hands,
My name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because a sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the One,
Risen Son of God!
Behold him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I am,
The King of glory and of grace!
One with himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God
-It's not about religion, rules, or even morality. It's about a relationship. And he loves you. And it's free. You can't do a thing. Freedom. Love. Jesus.
Merry Christmas.
--Moving Girl
What Happens to a Black Heart
I had a vision regarding my return to the Lord in an intimate way.
I saw my heart and it was encased in a hard black shell, like an egg, but much thicker, much more dense. Sharp.
I saw it and I was praying, I told God that I wanted to be done with me, with my 'self'. I asked him to send an arrow of truth into my heart. I told him I was blind and couldn't see and asked him to shoot straight through the blackness and darkness to my heart. To break it.
I saw the arrow fly straight and true and in slow motion, it hit the shell of darkness and it shattered. The arrow flew through my heart and the black casing that was on it, that prevented my from seeing, was broken. The hold it had on my heart was broken.
I was so moved I sang and continued to pray. He set me free that day from the hold on my life, and I began to see much more clearly than I had.
Then he spoke to me and this is what I heard: "This is going to hurt, Mariah." I saw why as I looked again at the heart. Although the black case had been broken, the shards were still attached to my heart. I cringed. "Then break my heart, so that you can heal it. Tear off those pieces so I can see again."
I felt a peace, even knowing that the next days, even weeks were going to be a painful process of removing the black from my life. And dealing with the resulting pain and consequences.
He's been removing those pieces and like he said, it is painful. But I can see, I am learning, and my God loves me! He loves me.
--Moving Girl
I saw my heart and it was encased in a hard black shell, like an egg, but much thicker, much more dense. Sharp.
I saw it and I was praying, I told God that I wanted to be done with me, with my 'self'. I asked him to send an arrow of truth into my heart. I told him I was blind and couldn't see and asked him to shoot straight through the blackness and darkness to my heart. To break it.
I saw the arrow fly straight and true and in slow motion, it hit the shell of darkness and it shattered. The arrow flew through my heart and the black casing that was on it, that prevented my from seeing, was broken. The hold it had on my heart was broken.
I was so moved I sang and continued to pray. He set me free that day from the hold on my life, and I began to see much more clearly than I had.
Then he spoke to me and this is what I heard: "This is going to hurt, Mariah." I saw why as I looked again at the heart. Although the black case had been broken, the shards were still attached to my heart. I cringed. "Then break my heart, so that you can heal it. Tear off those pieces so I can see again."
I felt a peace, even knowing that the next days, even weeks were going to be a painful process of removing the black from my life. And dealing with the resulting pain and consequences.
He's been removing those pieces and like he said, it is painful. But I can see, I am learning, and my God loves me! He loves me.
--Moving Girl
The Title Should Read...
Journey from North to South, West to East. I forgot I'm going that direction, too. If I was just going south I'd end up somewhere cold. Ew.
So Alaska is experiencing our cold season as of now. I officially froze for the first time last night while trying to sleep. I got up and turned icicle. It was something like -5 outside.
Ick.
Anyway, I say I won't miss this weather, but anytime I dare to remember the humid hotness of TN/KY I cringe and change my mind. Growing up in Japan and Alaska did not prepare me in any way for what I'm going to experience down there.
And we are driving out in the middle of summer. Bless us, God. Keep us cool. And whatever happens, DON'T let the air conditioning fail.
We got a camper finally. Settled on one in Washington near Seattle. It is a travel trailer with a bunkhouse. The bunkhouse has an entertainment center and double bunks (good because I like space). It should work out fine although I'm still partial to fifth wheels.
Let's see, what else is new...mmm, God is requiring a lot from me in this new stage of our relationship. I think what I went through the last two months was to help prepare for something and also to show me how vulnerable I am without him as my constant companion. Not just morning or evening companion.
The lessons I'm learning are hard and they hurt. I'm surprised by how much something that is not physical (or completely, anyway) can hurt so much. I had to give something up last night (and God, please forgive me for anything I may still be harboring in my heart, please have it). That something was a dream and desire that I've had for a very long time, even stronger than my desire to one day go back to Japan. I had to give it up and it hurt. Really bad. I cried and whimpered because it was so hard. I'm not even sure where I am in the process of giving it up right now. I want God to replace that desire with a greater desire for him. A grander desire for him. (The thing I gave up was not in any way bad, and is actually a spiritual gift, but my desire for it was unhealthy.)
I don't think that such a desire is impossible, and I do believe that there is a possibility I might get to obtain that gift one day, but not now. I pray, though, that God will begin to reshape that desire into something he can use, something that lets me love him more.
--Moving Girl
So Alaska is experiencing our cold season as of now. I officially froze for the first time last night while trying to sleep. I got up and turned icicle. It was something like -5 outside.
Ick.
Anyway, I say I won't miss this weather, but anytime I dare to remember the humid hotness of TN/KY I cringe and change my mind. Growing up in Japan and Alaska did not prepare me in any way for what I'm going to experience down there.
And we are driving out in the middle of summer. Bless us, God. Keep us cool. And whatever happens, DON'T let the air conditioning fail.
We got a camper finally. Settled on one in Washington near Seattle. It is a travel trailer with a bunkhouse. The bunkhouse has an entertainment center and double bunks (good because I like space). It should work out fine although I'm still partial to fifth wheels.
Let's see, what else is new...mmm, God is requiring a lot from me in this new stage of our relationship. I think what I went through the last two months was to help prepare for something and also to show me how vulnerable I am without him as my constant companion. Not just morning or evening companion.
The lessons I'm learning are hard and they hurt. I'm surprised by how much something that is not physical (or completely, anyway) can hurt so much. I had to give something up last night (and God, please forgive me for anything I may still be harboring in my heart, please have it). That something was a dream and desire that I've had for a very long time, even stronger than my desire to one day go back to Japan. I had to give it up and it hurt. Really bad. I cried and whimpered because it was so hard. I'm not even sure where I am in the process of giving it up right now. I want God to replace that desire with a greater desire for him. A grander desire for him. (The thing I gave up was not in any way bad, and is actually a spiritual gift, but my desire for it was unhealthy.)
I don't think that such a desire is impossible, and I do believe that there is a possibility I might get to obtain that gift one day, but not now. I pray, though, that God will begin to reshape that desire into something he can use, something that lets me love him more.
--Moving Girl
Fail
So I fail at the whole "silent" thing. I'm done with all but three projects or "finals".
I have a Japanese Presentation on Monday, my Anthro test due on Monday, and my grammar paper due on Wednesday.
I know I'll make it, too, because I have just re-entered into an awesome relationship. This guy is the coolest, most amazing person. I don't understand why I ever left him. It's been about two months since we were this close and it's amazing. Absolutely amazing to be back. And it is so good. So good.
He told me that he still loved me and that he forgave me for all the stuff I did. He opened his arms and gave me the best hug anyone could ever receive. Now he is calling me to something greater and grander than myself. Than anything I could ever imagine. And I'm excited to go. I'm learning so much about him and myself. I want to get to the point where I can't help but spend an hour with him each day.
--Moving Girl Back in Love
I have a Japanese Presentation on Monday, my Anthro test due on Monday, and my grammar paper due on Wednesday.
I know I'll make it, too, because I have just re-entered into an awesome relationship. This guy is the coolest, most amazing person. I don't understand why I ever left him. It's been about two months since we were this close and it's amazing. Absolutely amazing to be back. And it is so good. So good.
He told me that he still loved me and that he forgave me for all the stuff I did. He opened his arms and gave me the best hug anyone could ever receive. Now he is calling me to something greater and grander than myself. Than anything I could ever imagine. And I'm excited to go. I'm learning so much about him and myself. I want to get to the point where I can't help but spend an hour with him each day.
--Moving Girl Back in Love
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