83/365: the pain of our past

83/365: the pain of our past, originally uploaded by beccabugg.

I wrote this the other day:

Today I've been reminded of the terrible reality that I have absolutely no relationship with my mom. We went from being best friends to suddenly not speaking. From bad decision. A bad decision that is ongoing. I feel immensely hurt by her. And I feel abandoned. I've been pushing these feelings to the side, trying to forget about it. But the reality came crashing down with a striking blow to my already-weighed-down shoulders. It's too much. I cannot handle it all. And it seems I've forgotten I don't have to. And now to relearn the art of placing this in God's hands. Healing will take place. I just don't know when. Until then, the pain of our past and present continue to weigh heavily on my shoulders and strain my weary back. Time. Time is what I need. And God.

I've been writing less and less with my photos, and since I started the process of moving, my writing vanished completely. I like to write with my photos so I can look back later and see the place I was in at this point, and see how far I've come. So hopefully, I'll start writing again.