Today I am struggling with bitterness and resentment of my circumstances. Things in life have shifted and I’ve gotten pushed to the outside looking in. The isolation would not feel so harsh, I do not think, if I had been able to choose it. However, I did not. God did.
Without a doubt, I know I’ve been brought to this place for a reason. God has not shown me the purpose, but there is something to learn in this season without anyone close.
Joy for others in their circumstances? Yes, I need that.
The ability to forgive others? Yup. Definitely could use some work.
Contentment? Absolutely.
Patience? That’s probably what I’m lacking most of all.
I have no answers for what God has on his agenda for me, what changes will occur in this solitude, or even when my Abba will allow me to move forward into a new area. Until then, however, this is home. (Not forever, though, since God definitely did not design me to live a life of complete and utter segregation) It’s not exactly my ideal place of resting, but with God along for the journey, knowing every one of my needs before I can even voice them, it can’t be so bad, now can it? I’ll be back sooner or later.
Just found your post on a Google search. I too, am in a similar season; surrounded by people, but not able to make a connection with them, feeling like no one really sees me. Feeling as though I'm called to so much more, Like I have so much to offer, but no one wants to receive. Somehow just reading your post has made me feel comfort.
ReplyDeleteFor me, I believe the Lord wants me to trust in Him and chase after His approval, rather than trusting in the way others see me to give me security. While it seems no one sees me, He does. I find myself running into His presence more than ever before. He says nothing to say to me. I just feel Him with me.
I like what Jenni said. Go girl! And akgrowngirl...on the subject of aloneness, we should go out for coffee. And if I have in any way been a part of that I ask your forgiveness. But we should go out sometime soon and you can share. Are you up for that?
ReplyDelete@movinggirl: yes, that would be great! let me know when you're free.
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