Courage. Courage. Courage. As I repeat this over and over in my head, I can't help but notice that this is Satan's favorite way to taunt me. Well, lack of courage, really. Even better - let's just call it what it is.... Fear. THIS is what weakens me day to day. It is what causes me to lose heart or fall. But WHY should I fear? Ever since I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit (Friday), fears have been cropping up in my head - all having to do with that. What if it didn't really happen? Or what if it did, but only for one night? Or what I just somehow lost it? What if it's possible to lose the baptism? And the worst ones: what if I don't hear him? What if nothing changes? What if it mattered for one night, but I choose not to follow the leadings of the Holy Spirit? What.if.what.if.what.if. It's enough to go insane. And I'm reminded again that "God has not given us a spirit of fear". And today I have just been asking my Heavenly Father, my Daddy, for the courage that I couldn't possess on my own - but that He could give me. I will not be squelched. I am a fire burning bright, not just a flame, but a bonfire for God - for every single part of him. There is a reason for His timing. I don't plan on getting in the way of His plan.
Todays word in...God Calling, I think, can't quite remember, I read too many daily things...was from the verse where God is talking to Joshua and says, "Be strong and courageous, do not be terrified." I have a habit of borrowing bad weather too. And fear strikes me down at times. That's okay. My life didn't change uber dramatically after the baptism. :) But things are different, like speaking in tongues. Pray in the Spirit on all occasions, D, with all kinds of prayers and requests. It edifies you.
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