166/365

166/365, originally uploaded by beccabugg.

My heart pounded. I'd never been here before, but I knew exactly where I was. Every single possible emotion welled up inside of me. As they played tug-of-war to see who would win, I quickly became exhausted and had the urge to lay down in rest. But I couldn't. I had to reach that light. I felt emotions all around me as well - the strongest of which was love. And I knew without question that the source of this love was the light. I hadn't known what it was, only that I must - MUST - reach it. But suddenly I knew. That area that seemed to pour out living light - this was the throne room of my Lord and King. And I was scared. "What will He think of me? What... What if I'm not what He thought I'd be?"
As if in answer - as if he had heard the fears of my heart - I felt a whisper "Come, my child. Come to my throne."
I took a deep breath and continued. When I finally reached the foot of His throne, I saw that the light was coming from His face. And I can't explain, but it WAS living. I fell down at my King's feet and turned my face away. The light was too much to bear. Thoughts were racing through my head, almost too fast for me to acknowledge any of them. "Be still, My child." and then my heart was inexplicably calm. "Why do you hide your face from me?" He asked. Slowly and timidly I spoke, "Father... I have done so many things wrong... I have sinned in countless ways... I... I killed your Son. It was me... Every time I sin, I crucify Him again..." I wanted to ask if He was disappointed in me, but I was afraid of the answer.
"My child. Look up. Lift up your eyes."
With great difficulty, I looked up, and saw to His right, the Son. But He didn't look angry. He knelt down next to me and looked into my eyes. "Beloved sister... I had to die. I died for you so you could meet the Father - our Father. How can He be disappointed in you? He made you. He knows all your sins. Past, present, and future. But dear sister, all He wants is your need. And you give that to Him every day. So how can He be disappointed in you?"
Tears were rolling down my cheek. I knew He was right. But there was still fear. Then the Son reached down and touched my heart. And He filled me with love. The fear was gone.
"Go, sister. The Father has work for you."
Then the King, my Father spoke one last time. "My Child. Take the love that my Son has given you and spread it. Give as much as you can to every one you meet. My Spirit will fill you back up each time you give away. Now go. The work has already started."
I nodded and in one blink it was all gone. But I knew - I knew it was all real.

* This is a story - something I made up, to show the love of God. He is never ever disappointed in you. He made you and He loves you.

Stolen

Refined in the fires of your heart

Like a precious jewel, or a well-used tool

Worthy of the thief who comes in the night

Consumed in the fires of your love

Stolen by the thief in the night I am

Stolen by the thief in the night

Like the fiery furnace to burn me up

Cleanse my soul to make a precious jewel

For my God, the king, a thief in the night

Is coming and darkness will pay the toll

Stolen by the thief in the night I am

Stolen by the thief in the night

Take the coal and touch my lips

Make me worthy of your kiss

Give my heart a brand new start

And cleanse me deep within

Burn away all my sin

Make me worthy of your touch

Fire me up with your love

Burn me up, burn me up

Refined in the fires of your heart

Like a precious jewel or a well-used tool

Worthy of the thief in the night

Consumed in the fires of your love

Stolen by the thief in the night I am

Stolen by the thief in the night

Through that fiery furnace came

No diamond in the rough

I’ve been burned by your love

I’ve been touched, I’ve been touched

Refiner’s fire again

Created so holy within

Fire me up with your love

Burn me up, burn me up

A Song by Mariah Barkley
(But Jesus collection)
3-31-11

--MovingGirl

"That prattles sae lang the day"

I feel like that is all I'm doing anymore. I've come to the realization that when God shows me awesome cool things and exposes cool truths and gives me dreams, visions, words, etc. that it doesn't mean that I have to tell someone. I usually share them with my mom, because I just get so excited...but I've realized that it isn't necessarily going to be as cool or exciting for anyone else. Usually because all of those are for myself, not for others. They are often useful for encouraging others, and I do try to share those ones when the time is right, but I wish I was mature enough to not get frustrated holding things back. I have a loose tongue in the sense that I like to share everything.
I don't know. Here I am again sharing my issues.
"Much dreaming and many words are meaningless..." Ecclesiastes 5:7
I wish I knew better how to hold my tongue. But I figure the closer I remain to Jesus, the better I'll learn to be like Him, right? So the better I'll learn when to speak and when to be silent.
He's been showing me the basic solid foundation upon which any duty must be completed. And that is the simple fact of staying near him. Period. Being in his presence. Daily making that choice.
Practically, how that looks is what we are going to be talking about in FirePlace. I want being near to Him being our primary focus. Because through that everything else happens. And even if we start doing it for selfish reasons, being close to Him will change that. I hope to get addicted to his presence. And I hope that for everyone.

--MovingGirl

Healing Begins

There was once a young girl who was princess of a faraway land. But she didn't know she was a princess. She had never met her Father, who was King of the land. As a baby, the Princess was stolen from her Father by an evil so great that no one dared to speak it's name. The grieved King searched high and low for His daughter, never ceasing His search until He found her. Then one day He did. She was seven years old when he found her. She was a loving girl, trusting everyone she met. She willingly showed her heart to all. As she grew up, people who had called themselves friend were one by one stealing pieces of her heart, ripping out chunks as they went. Some people ripped out two. And some ripped out twenty. Her whole heart quickly became very raw. Now it happened that her Father was also the chief healer of the kingdom. He begged his Princess to come to Him, to give him her whole heart so that He could heal and protect it. She ignored every loving plea that escaped His lips. And so He watched as His beloved Daughter was hurt again and again. One day, as He was walking in His garden, he saw her crying. He sat next her and asked, "My Daughter, why are you crying?"
She hid her face from Him as she sobbed, "Father, everyone who has ever said they loved me has ended up hurting me. My heart is hurting, Father. I don't think I can take this much longer."
As a tear fell from his eye, He took her face in His hands and looked into her eyes. "Not everyone, my Daughter. Do I not tell you - and show you - everyday in numerous ways that I love you?" she nodded her head. "And have I even once said or showed you otherwise?" she shook her head. "Precious Daughter.... I care for you as no one else can. You know of my position as chief healer. Let me heal you now." uncertainty was in her eyes yet she said nothing. Her Father spoke once more. "Let me share something with you. I have a very special role for you in my kingdom. You will become my apprentice, and I shall teach you to heal. But, my Daughter, before you can heal anyone else, you yourself must be healed. Will you give me your heart?"
Her heart pounded and she knew the answer. She was afraid, but she knew what she must do. She glanced down ever-so-slightly as she grasped her heart in one hand and her Father's hand in the other. She turned His hand so His palm was facing up. And then she placed her heart in His hand. She noticed, as she did so, that her heart and both her hands barely took up half of his palm, and she suddenly realized how small she was. And then before she could think more on the subject, the healing began.

To Be Continued...

Dancing in the Storm

It's raining again.
The eye of the storm had passed over me,
leaving me breathless
to enter into the other side.
Now I'm here, behind,
because I was ducked back into the water
without a breath.
I can't see. Can't see anything at all.
It's dark and black, and all around me.
The noise is deafening, thunderous, whining,
like a black hole would sound
if you could hear it.
I'm so battered, so tired, so weak.
My muscles are quaking
in pain and exhaustion.
One step takes all my strength
I don't see how I make it to two.
I'm cold, always so cold
and wet and miserable...
and I can't see or hear anything.
The forest around me only exists
because I saw myself enter it.
And now I can only place timid hands
in front of me to fend off the world.
The Dark Night of the Soul.
Midnight to 3:00 am.
Can't see.
Can't feel
anything but fear.
But my body moves of its own accord
not even stopping to think
that maybe I'm moving with the storm
not out of it.
My head is bowed against the torrent;
wind and rain, mud and ice
all around;
battered, so battered.
Can you see it?
The storm that threatens
looms menacingly over the earth
like a void in space and time
sending me into the depths
of a valley so deep, so dark
that the only light, the only warmth
is that inside of me.
The only hope is the little light
the little candle flame,
the little coal
that sits inside my heart
like a golden promise
or a memory
of better days.
But that promise is what drives me
it gives me the strength
the power
to put one weary foot
before the other
on my way
out of this forest
this valley, the storm
into the golden fields
that are promised:
my place of rest.
I yearn for those hills
where milk and honey
wave to me from the grasses
where the warmth of the sun
soaks into my skin
to the depths of my soul.
Where the tent is a welcome shade
of rest that calms,
oh, the sheepskin tent.
So I place one weary foot
before the other
and walk on
hands timid
head bent
into the wall of water
into the wind
and the storm.
For the warmth inside me whispers
"Yet, yet shall there be rest
yet shall there be peace
yet shall there be a time
when my voice
will be as clear to you as day
and as warm as the sun
and I shall come
and visit with you
in the sheepskin tent
of communion.
Yet there shall be this time
and we shall dance
together
in Abelmeholah
the meadow of the dance
because this trial
will have strengthened your legs
your body
so that you can
bear to dance with me
as I sing over you
with joy."
And so I put one weary foot
before the other
my chest warm
with the promise.
And the wind howls
the water stings
and the earth moves
beneath me
but I accept it
with arms outstretched
as I let it take me where it will;
dancing in the storm
so that I may have the privilege
of dancing without,
in Abelmeholah
with my God, my King.

--MovingGirl

Freed-A Collaboration

Freed

Pure, innocent, unbroken

Skin held taut against the pressure

Angel wings that threaten

To escape from the confines of

 Flesh, bone, and memory

Cold, hard, symmetrical

A hollow silhouette beckons

The backbone of a girl

 Set against the world

With Angel wings in her heart

Promise, trust, loyalty

A fingerprint with a name

Shadows and valleys

Illuminated dreams

On the tips of Angel wings

Humble, strong, true

Crucified to self

Solid and with a purpose

Shoulders lifted in

Exultation of the flight

Bought, paid for, purchased

At a price that looses

The binds and chords of earth

Ransomed by The cross

Purity, innocence, love

Bathed, washed, covered

In the blood of Calvary

Ignites a fire inside bones

Flesh and memory

Skin freed for Angel wings

Photo:

--DaughteroftheMostHigh

Poem:

--MovingGirl