To Sing

Ever since I was a little kid, I mean little, I've wanted to be able to fly, not quite like Superman, but more like PeterPan. I LOVED PeterPan for that reason alone. I always answered that question of "if you could have one wish" with I would want to fly. Then I grew up and realized how selfish that was and wished I could be wise enough like Solomon, to ask God for something good and useful...not something for me alone.

So I started changing my question.

"If I could have any selfish wish..."

And it was still flying.

But a couple years ago something struck me pretty hard. I was singing in church and I got embarrassed. No particular reason, I mean nobody turned around and looked at me or anything, but suddenly I felt incredibly awkward and I stopped singing. For a couple weeks I wouldn't open my mouth to sing. I finally got over it and returned to singing without a problem. For a while. But there was always a thought in the back of my mind...maybe I'm singing too loud, maybe I should quiet down, maybe I should move seats, maybe I should not sing this song that goes way too far out of my very minimal range...

And it was like that for a long time. See, my voice is great for yelling at people, for being loud without even having to yell. I can pitch my voice so that I can be heard from far without raising my voice. My dad gave me that. But when it comes to singing, those genes somehow never made it into our family.

And I absolutely love to sing. That becomes a problem.

So my selfish wish changed. If I could have anything, it would be to have a singing voice. It didn't even have to be great, just good. Something to sing praises to my God with. Something worthy.

And then it hit me. I was SO consumed with myself. Worship isn't for me, it isn't for the people around me (though there's good in that too) but it is for God.

And to Him, my voice is sweet and my face is lovely. To Him, your voice is sweet and your face is lovely. You don't have to make it on American Idol to have a good voice. That's the judging of man, but to God, our praise is heavenly.

I still would wish to be able to sing with a decent voice, but I'm okay with what I have.

For all I know, God has a reason for the voice that I have.

This is a word that God spoke to me on my thirteenth birthday through my Uncle:
"I take pleasure in your voice that bears to me precious song. For to me your voice is sweet and your face is lovely."
I believe it. I trust it. 

My name is Mariah. Depending on who you talk to there are several translations. If it is coming from the root name of Mary, then it means bitter. Another translation is "My Teacher is Jehovah."

My favorite, though, would have to be a variation of Moriah. As in Mount Moriah. It means "Chosen by Jehovah."

I am Chosen. You are Chosen. And He loves our voices. 

I told him I'd love to be part of Heaven's choir or something when I get there. Let's sing together on that choir.

I also said I'd love to work in his library and sit on his lap. Who wants to sit on a throne? I can't wait to sit on Jesus' lap. To be hugged by the Father. 

Singing to him in a quiet place. Just the two of us. I know he listens. Worship.

So let him hear your voice, deep, high, heavenly and humble, for to him your voice is sweet and your face is lovely.

--MovingGirl