The Title Should Read...

Journey from North to South, West to East. I forgot I'm going that direction, too. If I was just going south I'd end up somewhere cold. Ew.

So Alaska is experiencing our cold season as of now. I officially froze for the first time last night while trying to sleep. I got up and turned icicle. It was something like -5 outside.

Ick.

Anyway, I say I won't miss this weather, but anytime I dare to remember the humid hotness of TN/KY I cringe and change my mind. Growing up in Japan and Alaska did not prepare me in any way for what I'm going to experience down there.

And we are driving out in the middle of summer. Bless us, God. Keep us cool. And whatever happens, DON'T let the air conditioning fail.

We got a camper finally. Settled on one in Washington near Seattle. It is a travel trailer with a bunkhouse. The bunkhouse has an entertainment center and double bunks (good because I like space). It should work out fine although I'm still partial to fifth wheels.

Let's see, what else is new...mmm, God is requiring a lot from me in this new stage of our relationship. I think what I went through the last two months was to help prepare for something and also to show me how vulnerable I am without him as my constant companion. Not just morning or evening companion.

The lessons I'm learning are hard and they hurt. I'm surprised by how much something that is not physical (or completely, anyway) can hurt so much. I had to give something up last night (and God, please forgive me for anything I may still be harboring in my heart, please have it). That something was a dream and desire that I've had for a very long time, even stronger than my desire to one day go back to Japan. I had to give it up and it hurt. Really bad. I cried and whimpered because it was so hard. I'm not even sure where I am in the process of giving it up right now. I want God to replace that desire with a greater desire for him. A grander desire for him. (The thing I gave up was not in any way bad, and is actually a spiritual gift, but my desire for it was unhealthy.)

I don't think that such a desire is impossible, and I do believe that there is a possibility I might get to obtain that gift one day, but not now. I pray, though, that God will begin to reshape that desire into something he can use, something that lets me love him more.

--Moving Girl