Blessings

A little intro: I've been living with my mom (I'm 19 and a half, and I should be in my own). Recently my mom informed me that I would have to move out in march, find a new place to live, because she was going to move in with her boyfriend.

I've always been a pushover. I find it very difficult to speak up for myself, to declare my own thoughts. My mom has often expressed frustration at this tried to get me to open up.

God has been working in me, chipping away the ugly stuff, only to get to a layer of pain and heartache. Pain and heartache that I buried in the hopes I would forget. All throughout my childhood, I had abandonment fears. Always worried a parent or someone else close to me would decide I'm not worth their trouble and just leave. This came from my dad shirking responsibilities and breaking promises countless times until I thought it was normal.

I've had to find against these fears so hard to build relationships. I've often felt that old familiar "friend" sneak up behind me and tell me Michael might leave. But I know this can't be true.

I've fought and worked against this. And finally I did it. I told my mom how I really felt. And she replied by informing me my new deadline to move was January 16th.

Pain. Fear. Stress. Anger. Bitterness. All of it flooded over me until I felt I was drowning. But still I managed, amidst this flood, to reach up and hand this to God. He has been slowly answering my prayer, and as of today I know where I'm moving. I don't know when. But I know that God does. And that he's taking care of me. We so often forget just how much God knows about taking care of his creation. And yesterday I was reminded that he is the best father anyone could have.

-- Daughter of the Most High