The Valley

There's too much to say and I'm too upset to say it all.
So I wanted to withdraw from two classes but I paid with a scholarship and since I've passed the drop deadline I'd have to pay it back. So my only option is to stay with the institution.
My heart is hurt, and I guess my belief in the goodness of people extended to institutions as well because my little bubble burst when I got slapped in the face with the realization that all they want is my money.
I knew that, but still, you try to ignore it.
So now I'm on a walk with God that is going to rattle my world and try my faith. Make it grow, I believe, but the stretching isn't comfortable.
I'm really sore right now. I know I'm not going to run from God and this is providing the perfect opportunity for me to rely on him in a way I've never had to before, but I'm so confused and all mixed up right now that I can' really write about it. Words are kind of insufficient right now.
So I hope by the end of this (only three more months, thank God) I'll be able to look back and write...(I just burst into tears.)
God's good to me, though, he's given me a sister and mom that have the gift of words of knowledge, encouragement, and wisdom.
My dad took my request to withdraw a lot better than I thought he would. (At least what I saw of it.)
And then God gave me these words from Come Away My Beloved 'by' Frances Roberts:

Keep Thy Face Toward the Sunrise

"Behold, I have sent thee out alone,
but I have gone before to prepare thy way;
yea, through the darkness to bear a light.
I ask thee only to follow Me,
for I will surely lead thee in a safe path
though dangers lurk on every hand.
Yea, I will be thy protection:
I will be thy comfort.
I will be thy joy.
I will turn the bitter tear to sweet perfume.
By My Spirit, I will mend the broken heart.
I will pour warm, fragrant oil into the deep wound.
For Mine heart is fused with thy heart,
and in thy grief, I am one with thee.
Yea, I will fill the vacant place.
Mine arms shall hold thee, and thou shalt not fall.
My grace shall sustain thee, and thou shalt not faint.
My joy shall fortify thy spirit
even as a broken body is rejuvenated by a blood transfusion.
My smile shall dispel the shadows,
and My voice shall speak courage.
Yea, I will surely keep thee, and thou shalt not know fear.
Thou shalt rest thy foot upon the threshold of heaven.
I shall hide thee in My pavilion.
Thou shalt have My constant care.
I will not leave thee for a moment.
I will keep thee from despair:
I will deliver thee from confusion.
When thou art perplexed,
I will guide thee in wisdom and in judgment.
By thy light shall others be led out of the valley.
By thy courage shall the weak be lifted up.
By thy steadfastness shall he that wavereth be stabilized.
Lo, the hour is upon thee.
Look not back.
Keep thy face toward the sunrise,
for He shall rise fresh daily in thy soul
with healing in His wings."

It spoke to every part of my feelings and emotions, my heart, my mind, my soul.
I'm in pain and more than a little disillusioned with things, but if one thing is true, it's God.


--MovingGirl